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AGING:

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, and all widows, live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year old yells back, “I don’t know, I will come up and see.” She starts up the stairs, and pauses, “Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her two sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yells, “I’ll come help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

Three retired men, each with hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn’t it?” “No,” replied the second man, “It’s Thursday.” The third man chimed in, so am I, let’s go get something cool to drink.”

A Senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!” “Heck,” said Herman, “it’s not just one car. Its hundreds of them.”

ANGER:

Most all of us have some kind of a temper. We are born with this in our human nature. Perhaps you have heard this story … it was a summer evening in Broken Bow, Nebraska. A weary truck driver pulled his rig into an all-night truck stop. He was tired and hungry. The only other customers were three tough looking, motorcycle riders. They decided to give him a hard time. Did they verbally abuse him, but one grabbed the hamburger off his plate, another took a handful of his French fries, and the third picked up his coffee and began to drink it. How did this trucker respond? How would you respond? Well, this trucker did not respond as one might expect. Instead, he calmly rose, picked up his check, walked to the front of the room, put the check and his money on the register, and went out the door. One of the cyclists said to the waitress, “Well, he’s not much of a man, is he?” The waitress replied, “He isn’t much of a truck driver either. He just ran over three motorcycles on his way out of the parking lot.”

The story is told of an Irishman who was a champion boxer, but left the ring to become a preacher. He was setting up his tent in one particular town. Some of the local toughs began to jeer and sneer as the preacher went about his business. Finally, one of them came over and physically challenged the preacher to a fight. The preacher said, “So, you’d like to take a swing at me, would ya?” The tough guy just sneered. So the preacher stuck out his jaw on the right side and said, “All right then, have at it.” The tough guy took a swing, and popped the preacher’s jaw. The preacher stood up, shook his head and turned his left jaw. “Would ya like to try it again?” The tough takes another swing, and connected with the preacher’s jaw, again. Then the preacher stood up, took of his suit coat, rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and said, “The Lord has not given me any more instruction.” “There is however, only one thing I like doing better than preaching, and that’s fighting.” So the Irish preacher proceeded to whoop the tar and thunder out of the tough guy.

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend fishing with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife, and was barraged for nearly 2 hours with a tirade about his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for 2 or 3 days?” To which he replied, “That would be fine with me!” Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. On Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her … JUST a little out of the corner of his left eye.

ATTITUDE:

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered … Love them anyway.

If you do good people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives … Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies … Succeed anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable … Be honest and frank anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow … Do good anyway.

The biggest people, with the biggest ideas, can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest pride … Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs … Fight for some underdogs anyway.

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight … Build anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth … Give the world the best you’ve got anyway! (Reader’s Digest)

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